Solitary confinement isn’t a lot of fun, but today I was let out on special license, with a shopping list. My local supermarket isn’t the biggest, has an idiosyncratic stock control system, but the staff have a reasonable command of English and are generally quite helpful. Regular visits are a necessary chore, best dealt with as early in the day as possible, to offer the time to rehab, and seek alternative suppliers when their stock control fails you. But today, OMG! Armageddon – I still can’t come to terms with the fact I had to queue, just to get into the car park. The fight for car park places and trolleys, just to get a front row place in the store to observe the empty shelves was a sight to behold. A swift glance down the ‘paper products aisle’ confirmed my suspicion, that we don’t have a Covid-19 crisis, we have a national poo crisis – where have all the loo rolls gone? Come back Pete Seger and update the lyrics to Where Have All the Flowers Gone.
Where have all the loo rolls gone?
Long-time passing
Where have all the loo rolls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the loo rolls gone?
Gone to hoarders, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Or Handel 200 years ago: “For We Like Sheep…”. But as they said to the false Messiah named Brian, “We are all individuals!”